had a sudden realisation that xxxxxxxxxx cant be forced
and whats the point of it anyway.
although i still feel !@#$%^, but its okay. i can deal with it.
whats the point of always having to xxxxxxx anyway.

ahhh promotest.
it wasnt as bad as i expected. sure i screwed up during woc (like i always do) but i wasnt rly putting alot of pressure on myself.
i was quite relaxed throughout the whole thing? except just before/aft woc and just before my speech.
now all we can do is sit and wait.

que sera sera, whatever will be will be.

yay. amanda likes being able to go home at 2.30! its so rare for me. ohman.
busybusybusy.



promotest D:

i am so pwnzordeded.
and im still blogging even tho i have 309583495759 things to do. D:

OC was quite fun :D
it was rly crowded! so many people running around shouting, screaming, talking,laughing, doing who knows what. didnt get to run through haunted house with 109 ): but i was quite freaked out by keith kok!. seriously. got mask somemore. then then oh ya. sentry duty.
everyone's got muggeritis. used to think that people in OC spent the whole night talking crap and playing card games? but everyone was doing homework instead!
(except for 3retarded np girls marching around in the dead of the night, i wonder who. )
funny funny funny, the things we do to entertain ourselves during sentry duty.


omg promo test on sat D:
dieeeee alr.

homework :
send file to slimming centre, dont let it get fatter and fatter.
zuo wen
bio tb qns on pg 269
print out physics graph
bring emaths tys
do temp ws/kinetic motion ws
prepare for promo test.
chinese phrases thing.
finish chinese hol hw :x

throw it away
forget yesterday
we'll make the great escape
we wont hear a word they say
they dont know us anyway
watch it burn
let it die
cos we are finally free tonight.

foureleven. the world will follow after.
强者不一定会生存
只有生存的才是强者

p.s. yay orange! cant wait for class tee. (whenever that would be.)
必胜!

okay. its ELEARNING DAY! (also known as random-holiday-they-put-in-place-cos-they-didnt-want-people-kajiaoing-during-orientation-camp)
for chem its like, they gave us an assignment ONLINE but they asked us to print it out in the end. so much for elearning.might as well print it out for us.sheesh.
its the 11thday into year2008, and already it feels like an eternity.
been thinking about year2007. so many things happened.
good and bad.
happy and sad.
all the memories.
dont really like the person i've been for the past ??? days/months. somehow feel like im a different person from what i used to be a long long time ago. always feel so shallow, so selfish, among other crap.
its human nature ba. to always long for what used to be, could be, and might have been.to only treasure whats they have only when its gone.
cant really stand myself.


here's to a bigger/better/brighter 2008. and to a new and improved me. (less emo, hopefully.)

all my bags are packed, im ready to go
im standing here outside your door
hate to wake you up to say goodbye
but dawn is breaking, its early morn.
the taxi's waiting, he's blowing his horn
already im so lonesome, i could die.

so kiss me and smile for me
tell me you'll wait for me
hold me like you'll never let me go
'cause im leaving on a jet plane
dont know when i'll be back again
oh babe, i hate to go

there're so many times i've let you down
so many times i've played around
i tell you now they dont mean a thing
every place i go i'll think of you
every song i sing i'll sing for you

well the time has come for me to leave you
one more time let me kiss you
then close your eyes
i'll be on my way

dream about the days to come
when i wont have to leave you alone
when i wont have to say goodbye


i really dont belong in your world.
dont you remember me, mr. duplicity?

need to sort out my life/stuff/work. seriously.

fri :
elearning day! OC sentry duty.
sat :
need to do zuowen,jianbao and shenghuoshuibi.
chem wb! and various assorted homework-flavoured crap.
sun :
pump body full of caffeine.
continue scarfing down crap.

and ahhh! xxx xxx cant teach for nuts. im so gna fail xxxxxxy ):

bah. sch is getting more and more boring everyday. 411 doesnt socialise ):
and there's so many free periods somemore. so amanda spends most of them sleeping :x
today was the last parade with her beloved sec3s. heh although some felt it was a waste of time, amanda thought it was pretty fun.
was pretty emo throughout the day, but cheered up significantly during parade time.
kind of sad, cos its like. we'll be ord-ing soon!

whee long weekend. amanda needs more caffeine! she's always sleepy.
quote of the day!
" i dont know, i really dont know."
"well, then you better use your imagination to figure it out."

throw it away
forget yesterday
we'll make the great escape
we wont hear a word they say
they dont know us anyway
watch it burn
let it die
'cos we are finally free tonight

drama mamah.

amanda thinks she's going to revert back to her 'writing in a 3rdperson viewpoint' ways.
she thinks it makes her blog more cos she can write it like its about another person.
at this very moment in time, amanda is savouring the delightful goodness of BEN&JERRY'S icecream. mmm comfort food.
amanda is a very emo girl, she sits in a dark corner with her hair covering her face eating her comfort food and thinking about all the bad things that happen in her life this day(month, year,decade..)
she sits and broods, and totally loses track of time. and her icecream is getting all melty.
she wishes she could turn back time. back to when she actually felt confident and secure.
oh the rantings of a rambling idiot.
amanda has memorable pictures of 2007 she would like to post, but is too lazy to transfer the pictures.

she sits in her corner
singing herself to sleep
wrapped in all of the promises
that no one seems to keep
she no longer cries to herself
no tears left to wash away
just diaries of empty pages
feelings gone astray

everything burns.

nvm, im tough. i will survive.

not in the mood to blog today.
sec4 life is hectic, boring, semi-stressful (guess im not really feeling the heat yet)
change is the only constant thing in life. wonder how much my life will change. perhaps, after all is said and done, i would be a happier person.
shall post some random lyrics.

Drew looks at me
i fake a smile so he wont see
i'll bet she's beautiful
the girl he talks about
and she's got everything
that i have to live without
he's the reason for the teardrops on my guitar
the only thing that keeps me wishing on a wishing star
he's the song in the car i keep singing
i dont know why i do

tear my heart open
sew myself shut
my weakness is
that i care too much
the scars remind us
that the past is real
i tear my heart open
just to feel.

when you try your best but you dont succeed
when you get what you want but not what you need
when you feel so tired, but you cant sleep
stuck in reverse

and the tears come streaming down your face
when you lose something you cant replace
when you love someone, but it goes to waste
could it be worse

and high up above or down below
when you're too in love to let it go
but if you never try, you'll never know
just what you're worth

she said i think i'll go to boston
i think i'll start a new life
i think i'll start it over, where no one knows my name

i asked her to stay
but she wouldnt listen
she left before i had the chance to say
the words that would mend
the things that were broken
but now its far too late she's gone away

everynight you cry yourself to sleep
thinking why does this happen to me
why does every moment have to be so hard
hard to believe that
its not over tonight
just give me one more chance to make it right
i may not make it through the night
i wont go home without you

i have so much to say but no one to say it to
who would understand my twisted heart

!@#$%^&*()!@#$%^&*("{>
SCH STARTS TMR.
I HAVENT FINISHED MY HW.
GOD HELP ME.


{ shall post pictures and recollect memories of 2007 another day. }