nothing compares to, a quiet evening alone.

There's something very gratifying about a nice and dreary rainy day. I wouldn't mind having this weather for the next few days. Just makes me feel like putting on a hoodie and staying indoors all day, watching the rain fall.

Jim: Oh no, he'll come back. We all come back, Kate. These private little revolutions always die. The compromise is always made. In a peculiar way, Frank is right - every man does have a star. The star of one's honesty. And you spend your life groping for it, but once it's out it never lights again. I don't think he went very far. He probably just wanted to be alone to watch his star go out.

I feel like I've aged a lot in the span of a few weeks. Things that used to be so simple and innocent suddenly seem convoluted and restricted. Does everything really have to have a motive behind it? Can't we all just do things because we want to? Why must everything take on a sudden monumental significance? To me, it's like, how, we spend the majority of our childhood discovering our identities, only to find out, the world doesn't really accept us for who we are. What the world wants is a stereotype. A carbon-copy. And try as we might to resist, it's only a matter of time before we realise how futile our efforts are and let our identities get choked out of us.

SHATTERED - OF A REVOLUTION (OAR)

in a way, i need a change
from this burn-out scene
another time, another town,
another everything
but it's always back to you

stumble out in the night,
in the pouring rain
made the block,
sat and thought
there's more i need.
it's always back to you.

how many times can i break 'til i shatter?
over the line, can't define what i'm after.
i always turn the car around.
give me a break, let me make my own pattern,
all that it takes is some time
but i'm shattered.
i always turn the car around.

all that i feel is the realness i'm faking
taking my time
but it's time that i'm wasting.
i always turn the car around.

if i could be your angel;

i'm sleepeh.

i can feel the last vestiges of my childhood slipping away.
taking on more responsibility, experiencing real life.
i'm jaded. (:

and beh.! i think we've established that i'm not cut out for athletics of any kind.
but i guess, it isn't about how fast i was.
i just like running.
at my own pace.
on my own time.
i don't care if i'm the last person. i just want to complete what i set out to do.
and maybe i'm just slow.

"you want ice cream?"
"no, no, don't scream."

hahah, you people crack me up.

xiaolongpao ftw :D

EVERYBODY KNOWS - JOHN LEGEND

it gets harder everyday, but i can't shake the pain
i'm trying to find the words to say,
please stay.
it's written all over my face
i can't function the same when you're not here
i'm calling your name and no one's there.

and i hope one day you'll see
nobody has it easy
i still can't believe you found somebody new
but i wish you all the best, i guess.

'cause everybody knows
that nobody really knows
how to make it work, or
how to ease the hurt
we've heard it all before
that everybody knows how to make it right
i wish we gave it one more try.

i don't care what the people say
they're probably lonely anyway
baby,
don't fill your head with he said, she said

the radio's on
you're tuning me out
i'm trying to speak,
you're turning me down.

oh, i wish you'd understand
that i'm just an ordinary man.

so baby, i hope that you came prepared.

BUSY LIKE SHIZZZZ.

the next 2 weeks are jam packed. like srsly.
it's a wonder the grade 12s managed to survive that long.
some days in IB i feel like ramming my head against a wall.
i am beginning to realise that things can't be perfect all the time.
i can't be juggling everything together all the time. i can only try my best.
and sometimes i have to learn to let go and let nature take its course, and hope for the best. sigh.

tomorrow : formal dinner
thursday : choir practice
friday : KWSH charity run
saturday : spiritual retreat
sunday : church
monday : netball
tuesday : indo dance
wednesday : -
thursday : choir
friday : labour day
sat : assisi carnival

welcome to my world.
curse you, binomial probabilities.

i still try, holding on to silly things;

CALLING FOR DONATIONS FOR THE AMANDA-NEEDS-MONEY FUND.

All proceeds will go to a most worthy cause, furthering the betterment of mankind and saving the Earth in general :D

amanda needs money for:
1. her musical needs (COLDPLAY,MCS CD, guitarrrr.)
2. TRIP TO GK IN DEC!
3. birthday lunch treat.
4. life, in general.

amanda is broke. hahaha.

you said, we were an accident
with accidents you'll never know what could have been
so we were an accident,
you'll always be my favourite one.

you hit the road and left me an ocean
i can't swim in the silence of your skin
please let me in
inside the time i had to forget you
inside no chance of us at all.

we could have been.
why can't you believe?

dying in the sunset;

this is my 300th post.
and i can't imagine how many things have happened in these 300 posts.


ho hum. i am going to be extremely busy this week.
but it's all part of the fun :D we'd all be bored to death without all this work to do.

i'm peering into solitude.
i'm wondering what comes next.
i'm wondering, how things will change.
i'm wondering and waiting.
i'm trying my hardest, really i am.


the idealist in me wants very much to believe in all things everlasting,
but the realist in me knows there's no such deal. or is there?

there's a little idealist in all of us.

she looked out the window and saw a million stars.

BY YOUR SIDE- TOKIO HOTEL

no one knows how you feel
no one there you'd like to see
the day was dark, and full of pain.
you write 'help' with your own blood
'cause hope is all you've got.
you open your eyes,
but nothing's changed.

i don't want to cause you trouble
don't wanna stay too long
i just came here to say to you:

turn around, i am here.
if you want,
it's me you'll see.
doesn't count, far or near
i can hold you when you reach for me.

your life is meaningless
your diary is full of trash
it's so hard to get along
with empty hands
you're looking for the rainbow
but it died not long ago.
it tried to shine for you
until the end.

i am by your side
just for a little while
we'll make it if we try.

when you find you; come back to me.

(WEIRD) FRIENDS FTW ♥ :D

you hit me like a ray of sun
burning through my darkest night
i'm addicted to your light.

we're accidentally in love;

IT NEVER RAINS BUT IT POURS.

you always think that as school begins after a long holiday, it starts out slow and gathers momentum. but it never works that way! today i went to school and basically it is one thing after another. who am i to complain eh?
the next 8 weeks are going to be packed like mad.

it's not that i have a lot of things to do! but i just don't like the feeling of things piling up on top of another and me not being able to complete them quickly and all at once.

i will survive.

look at the pretty doll in the window, mama.

hohoho. school begins.

FALL TO PIECES - AVRIL LAVIGNE

i looked away
then i looked back at you
you tried to say
things that you can't undo.

if i had my way,
i'd never get over you.

today's the day,
i pray that we make it through.
make it through the fall
make it through it all

and i don't wanna fall to pieces
i just want to sit and stare at you
i don't wanna talk about it
and i don't want a conversation
i just want to cry in front of you
i don't wanna talk about it
'cause i'm in love with you

you're the only one i'd be with 'til the end
when i come undone,
you bring me back again
back under the stars, back into your arms.

hallelujah.

(well it's not Easter yet. but - )
EASTER.

hoho time to celebrateeeeeeeeee!
and since i'm so religious, i shall put up a hymn here.

i'm hungry.

HALLELUJAH - BEETHOVEN

hallelujah, hallelujah,
hallelujah unto God's Almighty Son
praise the Lord,
ye bright angelic choirs,
in holy songs of joy.
man, proclaim His grace and glory.
Hallelujah.

Were you there, when they crucified my Lord?

Good Friday.

Many people asked me out today. simply 'cos it's a public holiday.
but it's a day of mourning, fasting and reflection.
and i actually feel much better after a day of fasting.
'cos the feeling you get, is very cathartic. when you feel so drained of everything else but the will to go on, all other distractions are meaningless and petty. and you can finally see what really matters.

can't believe Easter is upon us already. and then it's back to school!
can't wait can't wait.

TONGUE TIED - FABER DRIVE

bright,cold, silver moon
tonight, alone in my room.
you were here just yesterday.
slight turn of the head,
eyes down when you said,

i guess i need my life to change
seems like somethings just not the same
what could i say?

i need a little more luck than a little bit
'cause everytime i get stuck
the words won't fit
and everytime that i try
i get tongue-tied
i need a little good love to get me by

i need a little more help than a little bit
like the perfect one word no one should get
'cause everything that i try
i get tongue-tied
i need a little good love to get me by this time.

i stare up at the stars
i wonder just where you are
you feel a million miles away.

the innocent can never last;

boooo. i'm so sleepy. and bored.

have i mentioned bored?

david cook is awesome. better than whiny david a. with dreamy eyes.

COME BACK TO ME - DAVID COOK

you say you've gotta go and find yourself
you say that you're becoming someone else
don't recognize the face that's looking back at you

you say you're leaving as you look away
i know there's really nothing left to say
just know i'm here,
whenever you need me,
i'll wait for you.

so i'll let you go,
i'll set you free
and when you've seen what you need to see
when you find you
come back to me.

take your time,
i won't go anywhere
i'll picture you with the wind in your hair
i'll keep your things right where you left them
i'll be here for you

i can't get close if you're not there
i can't get inside if there's no soul there
i can't face you, i can't save you
it's something you need to do.

with your faith, you'll trigger a landslide.

bargh. i've been trying my best to train for the kwong wai shiu hospital run. and one thing i've realised about running is that, it's not the distance that really matters. whether you run 5km or 1km, it's actually about the duration. about how long you can keep telling yourself 'keep going keep going.' how long you can push yourself, ignoring the burning pain in your thighs and calves. and the feeling after completing something you never thought you would, is amazing. especially when you're nice and squeaky clean after a shower. :D

LOVERS IN JAPAN - COLDPLAY

lovers, keep the road that you're on
runners, until the race is run
soldiers, you've got to soldier on
sometimes even right is wrong

they are turning my head out
to see what i'm all about
keeping my head down
to see what it feels like now
but i have no doubt,
one day,
we're gonna get out.

tonight maybe we're gonna run
dreaming of the osaka sun.
dreaming of when the morning comes.

but i have no doubt,
one day the sun will come out.

you bring me down;

coldplay can portray my melancholy like no other.

LIFE IN TECHNICOLOUR II - COLDPLAY

there's a wild wind blowing
down the corner of my street
every night there the headlights are glowing
there's a cold war, on the radio, i heard.
baby, it's a violent world.

oh love, don't let me go.
won't you take me where the street lights glow?
i could hear rain coming, i could hear the sirens sound
now my feet won't touch the ground.

time came a-creeping
oh, time's a loaded gun
every road is a ray of light
it goes on
time can only lead you on
still, it's such a beautiful night.

oh love, don't let me go.

i'm on the rocks;

my parents are so funny. they sent me this in an email.

Hi Precious Daughter

Just to let you know that I've planned June 14 (Sun) - June 24 (Wed) (Tentative) as our visit to Panda Land.

in case you didn't know, panda land = china.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, LINWEIJIE. :D
you're awesome. rock on.

KELSEY - METRO STATION

so, take one word you said
you put it in your bed
you rest your tiny head on your pillow

you wonder where you're going next
you got your head pushed to my chest
and now you're hoping someone lets you in

well, sure,
i'll let you in
you know you're in
oh, Kelsey, you

so don't let anyone scare you
you know that i'll protect you always
now, through thick and thin,
always.

no, it's going to get harder
and it's going to burn brighter
and it's going to feel tougher each and everyday

so, let me say that i love you
you're all i ever wanted
all that i've ever dreamed of to come

i'd swim the ocean for you,
the ocean for you, Kelsey.

and you never let me in.

i'd swim the ocean for you;

ugh. my blood must be some kind of mosquito longevity elixir.
i have so many mosquito bites its not even funny.
and it's all on one leg.

and it sounds like i need to start doing push-ups for punishment!
i am starting to regret putting that picture up there D:

hohoho.

why do i put myself in these situations,

hohoho.
i am leaving for rciy camp tonight.
and i am wearing my awesome new pink shorts.
with me and my shorts, we can conquer the world!



♥ friends.

he's soft to the touch,
but frayed at the ends he breaks.
he's never enough,
but still he's more than i could take.

PLEASE DON'T LEAVE ME - PINK

i don't know if i can yell any louder
how many times have i kicked you outta here,
or said something insulting?
i can be so mean when i wanna be
i am capable of really anything
i can cut you to pieces
but my heart is, broken.

please, don't leave me
i always say how i don't need you
but it's always going to come back to this:
please, don't leave me.

how did i become so obnoxious?
what is it with you that makes me act like this?
i've never been this nasty
can't you tell that this is all just a contest
the one that wins will be the one who hits the hardest
but baby, i don't mean it.
i mean it, i promise.

i forgot to say out loud
how beautiful you really are to me
i can't be without,
you're my perfect little punching bag
and i need you,
i'm sorry.

please, don't leave me.

you're everything i need and more.

i sleep. i eat. i sleep again.

i am feeling grumpy.
i feel like i'm missing something, but i don't know what it is.
maybe i'm just all happy'd out.
Easter's coming again. i love this time of year.
everything is new and refreshed.
can't wait, can't wait.

holiday schedule:

tmr : detroit metal city/tuition
friday: rciy camp
saturday: peer mentoring/rciy camp
sunday: choir practice/rciy camp
tuesday: partyyy.
thursday: Holy Thursday
friday: Good Friday
saturday: Easter vigil/partyyy at aunty v.'s

please, don't leave me.
you hit me like a ray of Sun,
burning through my darkest night.
i can see your halo.