life is a roller-coaster; just gotta ride it.

my life is an emotional roller-coaster. some days i have good days, and some days are not so good. some days i am able to achieve much without even having to put in much effort. and others even though i slog my guts out i still fail. i am teetering on the precipice between love and hate, between confidence and insecurity, between happiness and frustration. some days i just wonder, why the hell do i even bother? some days i question myself on whether i have made the right choice and yet i know, i wouldn't have wanted it any other way. and i know the grass is never greener on the other side of the pasture, it is always the same. it is a matter of perception. it's just hard. seeing so many people excel and being faced with the brick wall that is my own staggering incompetence. and being helpless to do anything about it. some days i really wonder.

today is one of those days.

and yet, i know this is the only one life i have got, and it's worth fighting for. even if i don't succeed, at least i know i've done the best that i've possibly could, and if i'm still not good enough, i couldn't have helped being not good enough anyway, so i will just have to accept it.

you're always on display
for everyone to watch and learn from
don't you know by now?
you can't turn back
because this road is all you'll ever have.

keep me safe inside
your arms like towers
tower over me.

you made yourself a bed
at the bottom of the blackest hole
and convinced yourself
that's the reason you don't see the sun anymore.