AMANDA ;D

Monday, September 28, 2009

you're the perfect lullaby

biology. word dump.

ecosystemammaliangiospermophytautotrophaemoglobinucleuspeciesaprotrophabitatelophasecology.

bah. humbug. pressure. exams. expectations. scholar. parents. teachers. responsibility.conclusions. talk. talk. talk. evaluate. me. imperfect = something's wrong? = distraction? am trying. my best.

You can't expect anyone to believe in you if you don't believe in yourself.


Pfft.

Tuesday, September 22, 2009

):<

WORLD LIT (!)
EXAMS (!) LESS THAN 2 WEEKS.

AND IM NOT EXACTLY DOING WELL EITHER. :/

Monday, September 21, 2009

i'll never forget, the way you look tonight.

the road is long and hard. but i know the end is well worth it.
i don't know where we'll end up,
but i'll try my best anyway, and i know you will too (:
happiness really takes a lot of courage and strength outta me.
there's always the prospect of hurt and disappointment which looms in the distance.
but like you said, allowing that prospect to invade my happiness is only going to make for greater unhappiness.
and if it all ends eventually, i'd rather have good memories to look back upon.
and who knows?
we just might make it, i know we both want to :D

its tough remaining child-like in the face of a world that's long moved on. it's easy to slip into the trap of being jaded and cynical about everything, about love and friendship, about trust and the goodness of humanity. we're often disappointed by what we see, but it does not have to be. we have choices. we can choose to live out our dreams. we can choose to love, wholly and unequivocally. we can choose to be trustworthy and kind. it's all a matter of choice.

"We often ask ourselves, who am I to be gorgeous,brilliant, talented and fabulous?"
"Well, actually, who are you not to be?"


bigstrongtoughmanda is ready to take on the world. (:<

Wednesday, September 16, 2009

you took something perfect and painted it red.

i miss you.
i miss the good old days.
i miss being (relatively) more carefree.
i miss being able to laugh with careless abandon.
i miss the boundless enthusiasm that used to fill each day.

now, it seems, the more i know, the more i wish i didn't.

i never wanted to see this side of things.

it seems, there's also no turning back.
i can only toughen up and get on with it.

Sunday, September 13, 2009

i won't go home without you

BAZ LUHRMANN - EVERYONE'S FREE (TO WEAR SUNSCREEN)

Ladies and gentlemen of the class '99,

If I could offer you only one tip for the future, sunscreen would be it. The long term benefits of sunscreen have been proven by scientists, whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable than my own meandering experience. I will dispense this advice now.

Enjoy the power and the beauty of your youth.
Oh nevermind, you will not know the power and beauty of your youth until they have faded. But trust me, in 20 years time, you will look back at photos of yourself and recall in a way, you can't grasp how much possibility lay before you and how fabulous you really looked.

You're not as fat as you imagine.

Don't worry about the future.

or worry, but know that worrying is as effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing bubblegum. The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that never crossed your worried mind;
the kind that blindside you at 4pm on some idle Tuesday.

Do one thing everyday that scares you.

Sing.

Don't be reckless with other people's hearts, don't put up with people who are reckless with yours.

Floss

Don't waste your time on jealousy;
sometimes you're ahead, sometimes you're behind…
the race is long, and in the end, it's only with yourself.

Remember the compliments you receive, forget the insults;
if you succeed in doing this, tell me how.

Keep your old love letters, throw away your old bank statements.

Stretch

Don't feel guilty if you don't know what you want to do with your life…
the most interesting people I know didn't know at 22 what they wanted to do with their lives,
some of the most interesting 40 year olds know still don't.

Get plenty of calcium.

Be kind to your knees, you'll miss them when they're gone.

Maybe you'll marry, maybe you won't,
maybe you'll have children, maybe you won't,
maybe you'll divorce at 40,
maybe you'll dance the funky chicken on your 75th wedding anniversary…
what ever you do, don't congratulate yourself too much
or berate yourself either –
your choices are half chance, so are everybody else's.

Enjoy your body, use it every way you can…
don't be afraid of it,
or what other people think of it,
it's the greatest instrument you'll ever own.

Dance
even if you have nowhere to do it but in your own living room.

Read the directions,
even if you don't follow them.

Do not read beauty magazines,
they will only make you feel ugly.

Get to know your parents,
you never know when they'll be gone for good.

Be nice to your siblings;
they are the best link to your past and
the people most likely to stick with you in the future.

Understand that friends come and go,
but for the precious few you should hold on.
Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography in lifestyle
because the older you get,
the more you need the people you knew when you were young.

Live in New York City once, but leave before it makes you hard;
live in Northern California once, but leave before it makes you soft.

Travel.

Accept certain inalienable truths, prices will rise, politicians will philander, you too will get old,
and when you do you'll fantasize that
when you were young prices were reasonable,
politicians were noble and children respected their elders.

Respect your elders.

Don't expect anyone else to support you.
Maybe you have a trust fund,
maybe you have a wealthy spouse;
but you never know when either one might run out.

Don't mess too much with your hair,
or by the time it's 40, it will look 85.

Be careful whose advice you buy, but,
be patient with those who supply it.
Advice is a form of nostalgia,
dispensing it is a way of fishing the past from the disposal,
wiping it off, painting over the ugly parts
and recycling it for more than it's worth.

But trust me on the sunscreen.

Tuesday, September 8, 2009

tonight's gonna be a good night

bah, i am still reeling from the after-effects of a holiday.
FINAL YEAR EXAMS IN 4 WEEKS ):<
PLUS MANY COUNCIL THINGYS.
PLUS WORLD LIT, EE, and all that jazz.

oh well, its the IB, what's new.

i am losing sleep. hahaha, my ib container is filling up!

this song is so mainstream pop and emo. but i like it! its such a strong and sad ballad.

ALREADY GONE - KELLY CLARKSON

remember all the things we wanted,
now all our memories, they're haunted.
we were always meant to say goodbye.

even without fists held high, yeah
never would have worked out right,
we were never meant for do or die.

i didn't want us to burnt out
i didn't come here to hurt you
now i can't stop

i want you to know
it doesn't matter
where we take this road,
someone's gotta go
and i just want you to know
you couldn't have loved me better
but i want you to move on
so i'm already gone

looking at you makes it harder,
but i know that you'll find another
that doesn't always make you want to cry.
started with a perfect kiss
then we could feel the poison set in,
perfect couldn't keep this love alive.

you know that i love you so,
i love you enough to let you go.

I STILL LOVE YOU, BOYFRIEND (: don't worry.

Monday, September 7, 2009

hello beautiful

i shall avoid giving a blow-by-blow account of challenge week, it's too awesome for words.

but for now, it is back to reality, back to work, back to the neverending, always increasing barrage of assessments, assignments and stuff.

i should try to blog more!

or maybe i should convert to twitter, since i prefer one-liners.

but nah! down with convention!

oh well. amanda is sleepy.

Saturday, September 5, 2009

93.

words,words,words.
random lettering stringed together designed to represent the ideas,objects,thoughts,emotions,reality that we experience everyday.
sometimes, words are not enough.
there is a deep emotion, bubbling up from the depths of my soul. that feeling of oneness, of completion.
seems a bit far-fetched for someone who isn't even legally allowed to do anything yet.
oh happy optimism. oh vivid sunset. oh absurd randomness of life.

they all tell me to 'walk'. do not try to 'fly'.

but i said, 'walking can only bring you so far. he might as well walk away.'

the words of the wizened echo endlessly around me.

maybe this road leads to naught but heartbreak.

but its my life. i would like to make my own choices, even if its a mistake.

i do not regret this choice.