boo.

got C6 for history and physics. 50% just passed kind. (i could have easily failed)
and the stupidest thing is, i really did study for these two topics? really mugged and everything.
but no matter how hard i try, or what i do, i just cant seem to get it.
i understand the concepts and everything, i just dont apply it in the way that they like me to apply it?

i dno what im gna do now. how im going to continue from here
working hard doesnt work? not working hard doesnt work either?
it would be easier to just. heck care.
and yet, i cant?
but there's nothing to prevent me from being disappointed yet again at prelims/olvls?

im supposed to be an optimist since i dont really have anything to feel sorry for myself about,
but sometimes its just so hard to find the bright side when all you are enveloped in is darkness.
i really want to work hard, try my best and etc.
but alot of times, your best isnt nearly good enough.
people tell me 'you should have no problem getting As,blabla.'
do they not think that i dont WANT to do well? its not as if i flunked on purpose or what.

when you try your best but you dont succeed
when you get what you want
but not what you need
when you feel so tired
but you cant sleep
stuck in reverse

and the tears come streaming down your face
when you lose something you cant replace
when you love someone but it goes to waste
could it be worse

lights will guide you home
and ignite your bones
i will try to fix you

and high up above or down below
when you're too in love to let it go
but if you'll never try
you'll never know
just what you're worth.

{ okay, dont need to comfort me or what abt this.
im not exactly torn apart or whatever, just feeling annoyed that what i worked for has come to naught. }
i'll be okay.